6 years ago
This life is a tough journey filled with many surprises, some good and some bad. We all cope differently, taking salvage in our different vices letting them ease the pain, even if it may only last for a moment. Music is usually my first choice, then weed, then women. But as of late nothing is working. My godbrother is sick and honestly my standard vices don't even begin to help me forget that my lil' man, whom i affectionately call Roberto has been in a fucking hospital connected to machines for a week. I want to visit him, but honestly I'm afraid of my own reaction, I haven't cried in a long time and me in my unstable state would not help the situation. Whenever I sleep over his house, I expect him to come down stairs around 7 o'clock and wake me up. I look forward to 7 o'clock. Roberto without fail but with ease makes me forget that I'm broke as fuck, with no girl, no whip, and that me and my parents ain't that cool all by throwing toys at me. His smile is contagious. He laughs and continues to be Roberto, throwing toys at me, smacking me in the face, and sneaking in hugs and hi-fives. He is my lil man. Last night I had a dream and at the very end Roberto along with my beautiful Aunt Liz and my dreaded up Uncle Darryl pop up out of nowhere. The dream was on the cusp of turning into a nightmare until I saw them. In my dream I was elated, as I rushed over to them giving them hugs forgetting that it was indeed a dream. I realized then that being in the company of the ones we love is the only real vice, just like crack is for the Unk's on the street in southeast, I need my lil man healthy...so that he can wake me up at 7 o'clock again.
Lyric that comes to mind: "They need somethin to rely on, we get high on all types of drug
When, all you really need is love..."
Video: Talib Kweli "Get By"